Archive for September, 2007

Tuesday, September 11, 2007: Reflection

September 11, 2007 Leave a comment

I remember the day clearly. I was running a bit late for work, I had just arrived, 845am. My co-worker said hello to me and that a plane just hit one of the Twin Towers. At first, my reaction was, probably a small plane. I settle in and begin my day, moments later, my co-worker informs me of ANOTHER plane that hits the second tower. My reaction was to go to the student recreation area in my university to see the big screen television; they would have what is going on.

I arrived and the first thing is a crowd in the television area watching the events unfold. I saw it, the Twin Towers received mortal wounds; but this fact little did we know. As I am watching the events unfold, the sense of numbness began to enter my body. The chill down my spine was taking over the rest of my body. It hit me all of a sudden, there are people in those towers trapped. There was utter silence in that room. You could hear a pin drop and still not know whether this was just a dream or some joke. Reality was, this was not a joke or some dream, it was real. I still could not believe someone would do such a thing especially on American soil. I went back to my office and informed my co-worker of what was happening, she was shocked and on the phone with people she knew. As the hour went by, I kept going back to the student recreation area to view the television to get updates. There were reports of people jumping from the towers. This was all but confirmed, and I would find out days later that it was true, people were actually jumping out of the windows. They were trapped, they had no other recourse. God should not have any thing against those who took their lives that day. It is said that suicide is a sin, but I do believe that God will make an exception, I believe He should and I also believe He will.

1005am, I just get word, one of the towers collapses. The utter disbelief that this is actually happening and that we do not know what else is happening. No words can describe the feelings I felt of gloom and melancholy. I went back to the student recreation area, and with my very eyes I saw only one tower standing. Within a blink of an eye, all those people died. Than again, it hits me, those people had family, friends and were people. Who could do this? Why? I go back to my office, and everything is hectic, people are just confused, all they know is that the Twin Towers were hit, one of them fell and than we get word, the Pentagon was hit and that the second tower collapses. One of the thoughts that creeped my mind was all those people who were trapped. No one, and I mean no one could have survived that type of collapse.

1045am, I went back to the student recreation area and all we see is smoke and no towers. The moment I saw that, my throat swelled up and I felt like I had something lodged in it. My face became teary eyed. I held my composure of sadness and disbelief and I left again. While on my back to my office, tears creeped down my face and I did my best to hide the tears. I didn’t want anyone to see me in that state. I got to my office and I regained my composure. The mood in the office was evident, people had died, the towers and the Pentagon were hit. There was nothing else to say or do. The reality that the suggestion that our republic was under attack. It scared me because the last time we were attacked, we unleashed a speck of the power of God on a people and we killed many of them. My first thought was, whatever country is responsible, God help them. I think I just checked my email like a hundred times, and all throughout the day, we were on our feets in anticipation of what our response would be.

1200pm, I went back to the student recreation area, and we get word that a Mujehadeen fighter, Osama Bin Laden, a Saudi, may be behind the attacks. Whoever he was, I am quite sure he is on the U.S. most wanted list now. The details were murky at the moment because the information was just coming in droves and to digest this all in just 3 hours was quite a lot. None the less, what I thought of most were the towers and the people over there.

2pm, we are dismissed from work in lieu of what happened. We all know why. There was no asking of why were going home, people just left home. I still couldn’t believe what happened, the towers fell and all those people died. They never got a chance to say good bye or even given a warning, just like that, in an instant their lives would be ended. They say life isn’t fair, I am here to tell you, that it is true, life isn’t fair. And quite frankly, if I had the power, I would make it fair but in reality, this is not my place to say what is fair or is not fair. This is what it means to be human.

The Bronx, New York City, New York, the place I call home. Regardless of where I am, my goal one day is to return home. I consider where I am to be temporary and that eventually, I will go back, but for the time being, I am where I am. In lieu of this, seeing what transpired in New York, my home, it felt as if someone invaded my home and decided to rape it, and pillage it. The feeling of helplessness engulfs me still yet today. My home was hurt and everyone was hurt. Just to see people crying and seeing the pictures of those missing. An inch of what is Hell transcended upon my home. There is no other worse feeling than that but in result of that, though Hell came to my home, my essence was not afraid because like in all conflicts our republic has faced, we as a nation survived and moved forward. This partly is what it means to be American.

To this day, I am still angry and downtrodden at the events that unfolded that day. Like Pearl Harbor, a sense of determination and patriotism swept me and my countrymen. In a larger sense, what was important was those families who lost loved ones. Revenge and vendettas would be solved later.

One thing that hurts me most is that ground where the people that tragic day fell, I will not visit. Just the thought of visiting that hallowed ground gives me chills and rattles the essence of my spirit. I am not sure how to react, but I know the feeling gloom and sadness will over come me. Just knowing that hallowed ground exists, there is no amount of words that will satisfy the ordinary reader that can convey my feelings. It is judicially fair to say that the result of all this leads me to tell the readers at large, take a moment to reflect on life and not what you have, but the people who you love and love you. To take appreciation in the moment, to take a moment of praise in knowing that you are living in the here and now. Just remember to take a moment, to what deities or gods you believe in, and if you are Christian like myself, pray and be thankful. Be thankful that although life on this hectic and insane world can turn on us at any given moment, with great odds and tragedy against us, humanity will always over come.